Everything Hurts and I'm Dying - Long Sleeve T-Shirt Color:Red a large cream woodcut-style illustration

a large cream woodcut-style illustration of a kraken with a bulbous mantle and long suction-cupped tentacles fills the center

" A white baseball graphic reads "CALIF" and "LEAGUE

Salmon on a grill is the only acceptable reason to tell someone you've been smoking all weekend

Red and white text at the bottom reads "AURORA" above white serif text reading "ILLINOIS

Everything Hurts and I'm Dying - Long Sleeve T-Shirt Color:Red a large cream woodcut-style illustrationPutting "Everything Hurts and I'm Dying" in varsity letterman script means physical deterioration finally has a team logo. Somewhere a whole roster of people over 30 just stood up too fast and felt deep squad pride. The Details: Arched distressed white block text reads "EVERYTHING" across the top. Large flowing white cursive script reads "Hurts" below, with a baseball style swoosh tail extending from the lettering. Bold distressed white uppercase text